oh where to start. I'm going to say everything i that i feel i should say. the easiest way to describe me is with no walls up. no barriers to shield my inner self. no protection. the real me. let's start from the beginning, i was born, simple enough, i was born to an drug abusing alcoholic father, and a mother who cared but wasn't the brightest person alive,a couple days into my life a man got shot in the face outside my bedroom window, great start huh? i lived in a house with my mother and father as well as my younger brothers until i was 3, then my mom had split custody with my father. at my father's house i don't have much memory. all i pretty much remember was playing in the backyard all day when my three cousins came over to visit we would be left to fend for ourselves while our parents did drugs in the garage, another thing i remember was all the money, and drugs that would sit on the table, left to be played with by a five year old, i remember no love in that house, only abuse, physically and mentally, knives held to throats, children being thrown, drugs being done, etc. , but like i said my mother and father shared custody which means i lived with her also, whelp that was more bright than my fathers house. except it wasn't the brightest. i lived there with my mother, my step father, and my baby sister. I shared a room with my sister. my step father was also a drug abuser and an alcoholic. he would abuse my mother in front of her children. well i guess my mom seen something in him because she stayed. and had another kid, my little brother Cash. she stayed with my step father and together they skipped town with me and my sister and brother to get away from my real father. We all moved to Oregon, to live in a hotel, i lived in that hotel my whole second grade year. i cant complain. i had everything that i needed, a room, food, clothes, love. i remember a huge field behind the hotel where i would play with another kid who was living at the hotel, we would catch snakes and play with our G.I. Joe's on the rocks, i remember the school bus picking me up at the hotel everyday and children would make fun of me, but i didn't give a fuck, because they didn't understand. Well school was over and summer hit, not a very good summer at all. That summer we got a call from some family, letting us know that my grandma had come down with cancer, so we packed our bags and headed to Reno, Nevada to live with my grandma, my step father would have been there but he had gotten into a high speed police chase and got locked up, he was out of our lives for the time being. My mother had all of our thing packed full into the truck as we drove 100 mph through the desert to get to Reno. when we got there all of our family was living in my grandmas house, because my grandmother was being treated in her room instead of the hospital, i had some really great times in that house, living with all my family, we lived there for maybe 8 months, we spent holidays there as well as birthdays. it was great for a change. might i add i had no school. well, the day that everybody dreaded finally came. my grandma past away in her room, at the age of 53. horrible time, i remember me and my family all in the living room as the doctors wheeled her body through to the outside. i don't remember any funeral. well we couldn't live in that house any longer. so we packed our shit and headed back to California. my mom met back up with my step father and together we moved into a friends house and lived in a room. we lived in a decent size house in a decent neighborhood. all though the people we lived with were heroin addicts . always drugged up passing out in random places my step father was still on drugs so he fit right in. i lived there for about one year. and i was 6. our roommates also had a 6 year old daughter. who would touch me at night. and i her. we had no idea what we were doing. being so young. i went to school there in that city. school was not a good experience . being the poor kid and all. but i don't remember much i was in 3rd grade. we had my little bothers first birthday there in that house..i miss that.... anyways. after about a year went bye, we decided to move on and finally get our own house. we moved back to the bay area where we originally started out at. and we found a house..the house I'm typing in at this very moment. i was 7 when we moved into this house. and the memories i would make ... i had no clue. Where to even start?..... i will leave that for my next blog.
